2007-01-18 Update

Well, yesterday I made my big decision. I am going to keep the right side intact. For now. I spoke with my surgeon and got a woman's opinion on things. She said that she really saw no reason for me to have it removed except for peace of mind. Which, she says, is something very, very important - so if I wanted it off, she would take it off.

But we came up with a plan that really works for me. It's strongly suggested that reconstruction not take place for at least a year after having a mastectomy when you have aggressive cancer. (It's harder to get good test results through implants or new tissue.) So, what I'm going to do is wait to have my reconstruction until after the next testing cycle of my RIGHT side. That will be about a year and a half after my mastectomy. Then, if the right shows any problems, or if I mentally need it, I will have my right side removed and have everything reconstructed at the same time.

In the meantime, my surgery has been scheduled for February 1st. It should be an in-and-out procedure. She will keep me overnight, though, if I feel I need it. She said she will clear me for chemo between 2 and 4 weeks after the surgery. It sounds like I'll probably start chemo around March 1st. I will do four treatments - one every three weeks. I have to go over to Detroit for them; you just sit for three to four hours and then you're done. So I think I'll be done with all this cancer stuff by mid-May! Yippie!

Ben is gone...

Ben the cat passed away tonight. He had been fine just a few days ago. Monday morning he seemed fine. Later that afternoon, he could hardly walk and would fall over when he tried. He wouldn't eat and wasn't eliminating, either. Then he had a seizure. Phil figured he had a stroke. He took him in to the vet that night. The vet said it wasn't a stroke but didn't know what it was. Said his blood work all came back fine, except that he was very thin (I saw him eat all the time, but I don't think his body was processing the food very well anymore) and extremely dehydrated. So she gave Phil some antibiotics and steroids and an IV to give him and sent him home. (Unfreaking believable. The cat was MISERABLE; I can't believe she convinced Phil to do that. He was over 20 years old, for crying out loud - he was supposed to get pills shoved down his throat and a needle stuck in him every day?!?!? Yeah, that's a comfortable end.) We were going to have him put down Tuesday, then, because he still wasn't eating or eliminating and seized a few more times. However, we had to go to Detroit for my appointment. So tonight, Phil took him into the vet. Ben died in his arms - BEFORE the vet came in to see him. Phil said he went peacefully.

Now, for all who know me. Yes, I wanted to run around singing "Ding Dong! The cat is dead, the cat is dead, the wicked cat is dead!" Yes, I did not like Ben. But no animal needs to suffer. I did cry over him. And he was very much a lifelong companion to Phil. He was there for him when Phil was on his own in Kansas. Phil's had him through some very trying times. For my dear husband's grief, I grieve with him.

Ben - 1987? to 2007

2007-01-09 Update

Well, my oncologist confirmed that all seems to be well with my right side. As for getting it removed, he strongly encourage me NOT to. He said that reconstruction of my left would be easier if I still had my right. Guess it's a model to use for the new one!

I'm still not fully given over to the keeping of the right one. My thoughts run from the "less tissue must mean less risk" idea to the vain "I want a new matched set!" Both of which are just not grounded. I'm still just a bit weary of the "good" prognosis of the right, though. My ultrasound on the left was "BENIGN." Yeah, right. So much for that ultrasound!

So next Wednesday, I have an appointment with Dr. Oztalay-Mathia to discuss the surgery and schedule it. (For the further excision of the left breast.) I am going to talk to her more about the right. I think I need to hear from a woman doctor on the issue. But in a recent brief conversation, she seemed quite surprised that I would want the right one off "just because." She might call me before next Wednesday. If we get everything taken care of over the phone, we'll just schedule the surgery. Yippie.

Dr. Mathia will put in a port for the chemo at the same time. Then, when she says I'm ready, I'll start chemo - which will be four cycles of Taxol and Cytoxan plus Avastin. I'll go once every three weeks. It takes 3 to 4 hours to get. I shouldn't get too sick, but I will loose all my hair. Look out world, I'm going to get a different wig for every day of the week! Well, it's a nice wish, but at a couple of hundred dollars each...wait, ok...let's try this again...Look out world, I'm going to get a different bandana for every day of the week! he he

Oh, Dr. Henderson gave me the names of two plastic surgeons that I need to contact about my reconstruction - Dr. Gavagan and Dr. Meininger. I have ruled out TRAM Flap reconstruction. Dr. Henderson suggested it. I told him there was ABSOLUTELY NO POSSIBILITY of me getting that. They take a bit of stomach muscle and run it up under your rib cage to use as a blood supply to the new tissue used. I have a hard enough time riding my horse - I'm certainly NOT going to give up ANY of my stomach muscles!!! I would prefer either DIEP or SIEA reconstruction. These are very similar to a TRAM flap, but they don't take any muscle. On a GREAT note - with any of these, I pretty much get a free tummy tuck - that's where the tissue used for the reconstruction comes from! On another GREAT note (possibly), I may not be able to do any of these...he he he...my surgeon said I may be too thin to get enough good tissue from my tummy to use. I don't know about that, but I have been back on the BowFlex for a couple weeks and am already seeing results! Oh, well, if not one of these, then I'll get implants. (Read implants - plural. There's no way I'd get just one - they would never match!)

Alrighty then. I MUST go to bed!!! One of these days I'll make it before midnight....

Mom's Birthday

Well, the boys have been (un)holy terrors lately. They seem to have sooo much energy! So what did I do? Since it was Mom's birthday on the 4th, and she just so loves to play with the kids, we took her out to Chuck E. Cheese's!

We had a blast - Mom and I even crawled through those hamster trails they have hanging from the ceiling. We played with the kids, then Mom and I went over to the more "Adult" side of the restaurant and played Skeeball and shot some hoops. She beat me every time! Then Phil and her and the kids did the basketball game once or twice. I never did find out who won that one.

When we were done eating the pizza, we were still a little hungry, so we got a birthday cake and ate that, too! It was really pretty good, considering what kind of restaurant it is.

At least Mom did get to do some adult stuff that night. Phil took the kids home and Mom and I went to see The Pursuit of Happyness - the movie based on a true story. What a great movie! This guy was on the street with his little son and went on to become a mega-millionaire. If he can do it, I can too, darn it! :-) (The mega-million part...not the living on the street part...)

2007-01-06 Update

Well, I wound up getting an ultrasound last week. And the results were good! The doctor (Dr. Segel; I guess he worked with Dr. Henderson when they were at the Karmanos Cancer Clinic), said that the lumps he looked at seemed benign. He did say that there was one area he was not sure about, but that it didn't look bad enough to even do a needle biopsy on. He wants to recheck it in 9 months. Tuesday I see Dr. Henderson to go over this information with him. Looks like I might keep my right breast...we'll see.

I'm still a bit nervous about the whole deal, though. My ultrasound on the left side was labeled "benign" by the radiologist that saw that one, and that didn't turn out so good! But I've got to keep my chin up.

So far, the year has started out great - good news about my right side, and my old puppy, Anna, is still hanging around. She seems to be pretty happy right now! She can't hardly get around, but she's "smiling" and wagging her tail a ton. She was actually hopping up and down when Mom came up yesterday.

Well, I'll post more after Tuesday's appointment!